Things SnSinMaryland is Tracking:
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H.R.4934 Emergency Unemployment Compensation Act of 2008
- Anonymous : We are still waiting for the President to sign the Emergency Unemployment Extension.
- Anonymous : Do you approve of yourself - or do you seek the approval of others? When we lack confidence and in particular have low self esteem, we find ourselves needing the approval of others to feel good about ourselves.
Unfortunately, in this day and age of being over worked and under valued, the approval of others may be slow to happen. Saying “well done” or “thank you” doesn’t seem to common language in modern society - and how often do you say such things to others?
Being self critical is an easy habit to get into, and forms the basis of our needing approval from others. The root of our self criticism is usually being at the receiving end of criticism from others as we grow up. I like the expression that “criticism is negative feedback badly delivered”. Constantly receiveing messages like “you’re too slow/stupid/bad/ugly/…” etc leads to us believing that this is a reality.
And language like “don’t do that” “why did you….” “you shouldn’t have” “you always” “you mustn’t” “you always” doesn’t exactly help a child feel good about themselves. Every expression is a sign of disapproval, so its not surprising we grow wanting that approval from others.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain
Comparing ourselves to others is another way we end up being critical of ourselves, as we usually find ways we don’t match up. This perpetuates our own self disapproval. If you must compare - find positive things where you are better than others. Even if you find yourself with role models you are trying to emulate, there will be aspects of their personality, perhaps particular skills or attributes that you already have but they don’t possess.
Identify situations where you find yourself seeking the approval of others. Is it with particular people - boss, parent - or in particular environments - workplace, home, social? Is there any reason you can identify why this should be, why you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to their moods and frustrations?
Whether or not you can find reasons for your seeking approval, start getting in the habit of getting approval solely from yourself. As you find yourself automatically deferring to others opinion of you, catch that thinking and challenge it. If you have deep seated fears of rejection or abandonment you may need to seek professional help (such as a psychologist or counselor) if you have difficulty challenging these thoughts yourself.
One easy way to challenge such thinking, is to remind yourself that most people are quite self centered. In the same way you spend most of your time full of self talk, worrying about you, other people are not as concerned about you as you think. They’re mostly concerned about themselves.
The bottom line, whilst you’re blogging aimlessly and worried about others opinions or the approval the unemployment extension, you, they probably haven’t given you any thought at all. Like you, when they’re thinking about other people, it’s mainly in relation to themselves. None of you know what anyone else is thinking. Whether or not they’ve even noticed you or what you have done, you may never know. So why beat yourself up about it?
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain
Another technique, which I have written about recently in self esteem building, is to get in the habit of approving of yourself. Keep reminding yourself what you’ve done well, what you are pleased about that you have done.
The “portfolio” technique is something many people now have to do for courses and professional competence. Keep a file or folder with reminders of what you have done and achieved. Its easy to forget the things that we’re good at, perhaps things we do automatically without a second thought. You may find it helpful to ask a friend to help you at this.
Another technique is to use positive affirmations. I have previously written that I use affirmations to reinforce character traits - such as confidence - rather than to gain material possessions (as fans of the Jack Handy Law of Attraction suggest). Use affirmations to reinforce your approval of yourself - what you like about you.
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S.2544 Emergency Unemployment Compensation Extension Act of 2008
- Anonymous : SWEET LITTLE BUCKEYE MOONPIE,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?
ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO THE CAUSE,
YOUR ONE & ONLY
SILLY BOY
- Anonymous : TOLL FREE - 1-877-331-1223
Call Kennedy's and Obama's office and make them work TOGETHER on this!!!!!!!!!!!
Good GRIEF - Obama cosponsored this in January and he can't get it through!!!!!!!!!!!!
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H.R.5749 Emergency Extended Unemployment Compensation Act of 2008
- Anonymous : SWEET LITTLE BUCKEYE MOONPIE,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?
ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO THE CAUSE,
YOUR ONE & ONLY
SILLY BOY
- Anonymous : Pelosi is RIDICULOUS - she had the option to help us BEFORE the bailout and did NOT. She squeezed in our bill right when the Senate would not vote on it.
She is playing the blame game and WE'RE the PAWNS.
Make her accountable. She threw us aside in the first stimulus and she's creating nearly a MILLION mortgages to be foreclosed by not extending our benefits.
26905 More
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